Monday, January 14, 2008

Are you there, God? It's me, Nichole!

I am feeling really frustrated tonight. I have been looking into Kyrgyzstan adoptions and realized that if we had chosen that country over Uzbek, we probably would have our daughter home already! I also realize that even if I switched countries now, we would probably bring a child home around the same time we would from Uzbek if we stuck with it. So, probably no good in switching.

I then have to remind myself that God led us to the Uzbekistan program for a reason. He knew long before us how long this process would take, he also knows who our daughter is. If only he would just tell me how this is all going to end up....and when!!!


Lisa & Mike said...

Hang in there Nichole!!!

When Mike and I look back over our lives some of worst depressing failures or decisions turned out to be the best life changing events.

Mike is continually questioned about "what his goals are" for his career. He has gotten to the point that he just shrugs and smiles.

Our lives are not even close to what we'd imagined or planned... in the end, they've turned out a lot better and taken us down roads we would not have otherwise traveled. In some ways we've decided to just "let go" and enjoy the ride.

So... fasten your seatbelt Nichole. Let go and enjoy the ride! :)

Nichole said...

Thanks for the encouragement, Lisa. I know that is what I need to do, it can just be so hard to do...But, I am ready for the ride!

melissa said...

It is hard Nichole. I keep telling myself that God helped make this decision for us, but then I can't help thinking about the 1 trip and us saying "sounds great for us". Were we not listening to him then and being selfish?

That is just my other side talking, the side that tries to deflate my hopes and tells me my butt is too big:)

Things will work out great for us both and we will think back on how none of this mattered once we see a picture of our children.

Nichole said...

I hear ya, Melissa. I feel like we made our decision largely based on the one short trip and it makes we wonder if we shouldn't have put so much weight on that. But, then I feel like you can't put too much weight on any factor because everything is always changing with IA. I truly feel that God led us to Uzbek, so I just need to sit back and see what He has in store for us...Thanks for understanding.

Tammie & Craig said...

Don't worry Nichole. Your baby is out there waiting for you.........just like you're waiting for her. Who knows why it's taking this long, but I do know this......when you get her picture - it will the right time for your family and her and it will be magical!

Ute said...

Nichole, I only can ditto what all others already wrote.

We all knew it is a new program, but we all probably didn't realize at this time, how many obstacles a new program can have.

It will happen, you will get your child and when you hold her and see her little face, you know, all is worth it and you were right waiting.

Dani said...

I'm not sure if my comments will be allowed by blog author, however, I must add that God doesn't make mistakes Nichole. We do. You were led to Uzbekistan for a reason, probably a lesson in patience which most of us need and to also understand that it's as difficult to adopt as it is for a birth mother to make the sacrifice to allow another mother to raise her child. You were chosen for the adoption journey as were the rest of us. Know that the road may not be easy, that it'll take time, and yes patience, but there is an end to that road, a beautiful child to hold in your arms. One that you will be mother to the rest of your life. You're just in the 2nd trimester of motherhood. The time which is kind of noneventual but you're building stamina for the last part of your journey.